I feel like my butt has been glued to the couch lately. I find that the most excitement I get is going on a few walks during the day with my son or driving to the gas station to get a mountain dew. Its strange to get such excitement from such little things. I find myself looking forward to each walk and to each short drive down the road just to get out of the house. I long to feel the wind in my hair and dream of the past where late nights were every night and sleep wasn't really required. I guess I just feel a bit stir crazy. Ever since we moved back to Evansville, I have been missing my job desperately. I really miss the people I worked with and just my work in general. That job can never be replaced. It inspired me to choose the profession I am going back to school for. I even miss the days where I would come home crying from such a stressful night. At least I wasn't sitting on my bum. The bright side of the bum sitting is that I get to sit with my son. He is truly my light. Sometimes I miss being able to just go out and do whatever I want, whenever I wanted, with little to no responsibility, but then I wouldn't have my boy. Or if I did, I would be a horrible mother and that is my worst fear. I would give up the world for John Rylan and if that means I would have to bum sit everyday for the rest of my life, I would. Things will get a bit more exciting once he gets a bit older, though. We will be able to take him to the pool or play cars or whatever. I know that when he does start to get a bit older though, I will miss the times where he would just lay in my arms and gaze into my eyes. I miss that just now as he lays sleeping and as I am hopelessly typing, trying to get myself a bit more tired so I can sleep.
Things are going well, I suppose. My financial aid for school has yet to come in. With it being the second week of school, I still have one more book I need. Money is a major issues right now, but don't get me started on that. I already think about that too much, and I just might have to write a blog over it sometime when I find the time between changing diapers, studying, cleaning, doing laundry, and taking my daily walks. But as for now, just imagine a homeless man with nothing but a penny to his name. I'd be the lady barely above him with just $3.48 to give credit to my name. Its times like these where I wish money grew on trees. I would have a lot of trees. Big trees.
John Rylan is doing well. Poor guy has been constipated lately. I feel sorry for him if he ever reads these blogs when he gets older. I can see it now, "Mom! Why did you post that on the internet!?". My response will be something along the lines of, "I'm your mom, I can do what I want." Ah, the joys of parenthood.
He is getting so big. I swear, he grows more and more by the second. He can already fit into some of his 3 month clothes. Granted, there is still some room for growing, but he is getting there! He will be two months old on September 9th. The time has really flown by. I already miss my little newborn, but I am so happy that so far he is growing up to be a healthy little guy. John is having a hard time adjusting to fatherhood, I think. He isn't good with the whole fussing and baby crying thing, which is a lot of what infants do. He said to me earlier today, "All he does is cry." and I'm thinking, well yeah, he is a baby. He is barely two months old, its not like he can do much yet. But, I think John is over reacting a bit because when I am with Ry, he is an angel. (Most days. (; ) Then again, that may be the whole "motherly instinct" thing going on. Who knows. The point is, Rylan is growing and doing well.
Life is life. Lemons are lemons. And the clock still turns.
Minute by minute I am happy for all the blessings I have in my life.
Second by second I am happy I am alive and have the few things I cherish most close by me.
Life, as of now, is alright. It will only get better from here on out. Whoop.
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