Growing Up and Regret

Time flies so fast. I am afraid of what time may bring.
My boy turned 1 week old today. Soon it will be 1 year, 5 years, 10 years, etc. I keep thinking back on what my childhood was like and how I wanted to grow up so fast and get away from everything and I successfully did there for awhile. I don't regret anything in my past for our choices that we made in the past make us who we are today. But I do wonder what it would have been like if I stayed living at home and didn't rebel from my family and possibly went to college. Would have my life been "better''? No. Just different. I think I would have stronger family ties and would possibly have a higher educational level. But if I would have done that, I wouldn't have met John which means I wouldn't have a husband or my beautiful boy right now so I am glad that I made the choices that I did, even if they weren't on the plan so to speak.
I want for my son to know how important family is. I didn't realize how important they were until it was too late but in my family's eyes, it was never "too late". I am still struggling with some family issues that I have of my own, but I want Rylan to know that no matter how much you screw up and screw around and make the "wrong choices", I will always be here for him. Always.
I was saying the other day how I never wanted Rylan boy to grow up. My sister pointed out to me "now you know how dad felt!". I guess its something you only understand as a parent. You always want your precious little angel to be happy and safe but growing up is an emotionally painful experience. You always want to protect them and you know there will be a time in their life where you can not. You always want to help them but there will be a time where "tough love" will need to be reinforced. I never want my boy to be hurt or in pain or be struggling financially but I know those things will happen.
I believe that Rylan growing up will be an adventure for both me and him; a scary one at that. I want to be able to be a good mom who gives her child what he needs. I know that financially, I wont be able to put him in any travelling leagues or buy him name brand clothing all the time. But I know I will be able to give him all the love, all the hugs, all the kisses, and all the emotional support he will ever need. I hope he will accept that as enough. I hope that he will be able to appreciate the things that I can get him when I can and be able to appreciate "the thought that counts" when I can't buy him exactly what he wants. I hope that I will be able to raise him to be a good hearted man and one who can be gentle and kind but also strong and brave. I hope he can appreciate what he has, because I know I didn't and that, my friends, is something I may just regret.