Trying to figure this mom thing out

I am exhausted. Last night, Rylan slept really well, just I didn't. I am proud of him, though. The past two nights he will sleep for a good three to four hour period after eating. I think what takes a lot out of me each day is breast feeding, especially with Rylan eating so much since he has been throwing it all up. I believe I spoke too quickly about my ease with it all. My boobs hurt when Rylan takes long naps from him not feeding, my back hurts from having such enormous boobs, the few times I have used the pump it hurts and I feel like a cow that someone is milking, etc etc. I sometimes wish I could just magically switch over to formula, but I feel like that is the easy way out in this sense: I know breastfeeding is more healthy for me and my child and just because I am having some difficulties, I should feel blessed and be thankful that I am able to breastfeed and give Ry the nutrients he needs. (Not saying formula doesn't have any nutrients, I've just been told breastfeeding has more natural "ingredients" so to speak and some women cant breastfeed.) It just gets hard because using the pump is difficult so I just don't use it. In conclusion to that, I get no help from John in the area of feeding because its not like he can just whip out his boobs and feed Rylan which means I get to feed him every hour and get the honor of doing the late night feedings. In conclusion to that conclusion, I get no sleep.
My son has learned how to control me already. He has become spoiled in the first 2 and a half weeks of his life. Every time he cries or whimpers or whines or whatever, I go and pick him up and hold him and love on him until he stops. Then, sometimes, when I set him back down, he will lay there for a few minutes then start crying again. John says we need to just let him cry, but lately Ry has been feeling sick (he is still throwing up all of his food after every time he eats and has been quite fussy lately) and I just want to hold him and comfort him.If its in the middle of the night and if he even coughs or sounds like he is spitting up/throwing up, I rush to his crib with a blanket to make sure there is no spit up flowing from his mouth and nose and that his diaper is dry and that his chest is moving up and down... I still over worry. People say its normal because he is my first. The few times I have "ignored" the cries, a few minutes later I'll go check on him and see he has spit up in his hair and that he peed through his onesie and it just reinforces the thought in my head that every noise he makes I just HAVE to go make sure he is alright. That, in itself, is exhausting. I somewhat hope this phase passes quickly. I just don't want to be a bad mother who ignores their child. I am trying to be the best mom I can be.